conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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