i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I bet he comes in French.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
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