Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish I only lived at night.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
