I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
