ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Are we still banned from the library?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
