Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
