when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
