So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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