I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
