i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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