He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
