please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Randomize
