Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
