he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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