I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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