I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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