pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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