Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
