I'm jealous of your bromance
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
