That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
