i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Is Oprah even human
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
