White coat. Heels.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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