Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
