sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
