you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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