Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize