just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
