Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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