remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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