Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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