Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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