I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
