Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
