Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
