I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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