if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
