Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
