I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
