Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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