She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I have already put on my inside pants.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
