Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
