For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
