you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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