My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
