Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
