i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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