Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
