3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
