I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize