maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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