The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
40s are totally the cure
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
