recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We have so much sex to catch up on
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
