I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
