i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he puts the penis in happiness.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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