I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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