3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
