Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
